God replaces despair and
fear with joy and freedom
born again testimony of Joelle Gagnon
This is a testimony of God's love and mercy. It also testifies to his healing powers for all who accept his Son Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour.
I was trying to take my life when I cried out to God to save me. It had been about a year since I asked Jesus into my life and I still couldn't stop sinning. I knew Jesus was the answer to all my problems but I couldn't seem to reach him. That's why I tried to take my life. I figured if I couldn't reach him I was better off dead. (What I acted out in the flesh was also what was going on in my spirit. I died to my own ways of trying to reach God and finally asked him to show me how I could please him.)
As my life drained from my body I became scared. I felt myself falling into darkness so I cried out to God to save me. I began to confess my sins and shortcomings and asked God to forgive me. I begged him to show me the way to have a relationship with him. (In order for us to have a relationship with God we must be cleansed of our sins, that's why Jesus died, to wash us from all our sins.)
The next day I felt as if a heavy load had been lifted from me. I was truly happy for the first time in my 16 years of life and I was glad to be alive. Somehow I knew things would be better. Most important of all God had poured out his mercy on me and gave me a new life. He could have let me die. All I was was an emotional wreck and I used drugs so I couldn't feel the pain that life had dealt me. (Without Jesus in our lives we leave ourselves open to the world and its present ruler Satan.) Not only did he give me a new life that will take me through to eternity but he also began to heal me of all the pain I had suffered from my old life.
He showed me how I resented my mother for all the fighting she and my dad did. Being a child I didn't realize my dad was an alcoholic and that was the root of all those arguments. When I realized the truth, I repented and the Lord healed my anger, resentments etc. (I'd like to add that prior to my deliverance my Dad stopped drinking and somewhere in time he and my mother became Born Again.)
I spent months going through inner healing. The Lord would reveal events in my life and I would repent or forgive, whatever the situation called for, and the Lord would heal the pain. As time went on I realized my desire and need for drugs was gone. The Lord set me free from drugs. It then dawned on me, if I did what the Lord wanted, he would take care of all my needs.
One day I was at a Christian concert, there were hundreds of people there all singing praises to God. All of a sudden I heard people around me making beautiful noises. I was trying to listen to the words but I could not comprehend them. Then I felt overwhelmed with power and I too began making the sounds. I was so filled with joy and excitement I thought I'd burst. (I didn't know it then but I had received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues.)
I had been going to prayer meetings, "encounter", and church. The longer I went the more disappointed I became. I was on fire and wanted to grow in the Lord. A lot of the people around me were coming not to grow in the Lord, but to socialize. I saw a lot of contradictions between what the church was teaching and what God's word said.
I eventually stopped going to places to feed my spirit. Instead, I put my trust in God. I continued to read the word and pray. Inside I longed for fellowship with other people that loved God like I did. The Lord met that need also.
My born again brother invited me to go meet with some Christian friends of his at their home. We began to share our testimonies, read scriptures, pray and encourage one another. About six months later (out of curiosity) my husband began to attend our gatherings and shortly afterwards became born again too.
We all have separate walks with the Lord but we all gather together to build and encourage one another as we all eagerly await Jesus's return.
The Holy Spirit is our minister. He puts it on someone's heart what to read or talk about and he personally sees to it that everyone's needs are met.
A fine example of this was at one meeting; a woman was sharing about how she had been raped. Upon hearing the word "rape" I burst into tears. As I cried I knew everyone was praying for me. I didn't want to share how I had been raped as a little girl. All my life I had nightmares about being chased by a man who was going to rape me. I had a deep rooted hatred for men that made passes at me or any other woman. The rape also had an effect on my marriage and that hurt me the most.
With the help of the Lord I was finally able to share with everyone what I was going through. As I was speaking, the Lord told me (in my heart) that I had to forgive those boys that raped me. Matt. 6:14-15 exhorts; "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." As I forgave the boys, the Lord healed me and again I felt the burden lifted from me. So far, it's one of the greatest deliverances I've ever had.
On my way home that night I put my glasses on to drive. The road was so blurry I had to take them off. After putting them on and taking them off several times I realized that God healed my eyes. In my heart I felt the Lord say that my spiritual eyes were my sight now. What a loving God we have.
That was just one example of how the Holy Ghost works. He put it on the other woman's heart to talk about her experience so that I could be healed.
The Lord has set me free from so many things that have held me captive and he is still doing the same today. My prayer for all who read this testimony is that it might encourage you to seek out a personal relationship with the Lord.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." (Matt. 11:28)